Another Day, Another Dollar. Or Maybe No Dollars.

Hello!

I hope you are doing well today!

How am I, you may be asking. Well . . . I've been better.

I have some news. My fiancé has a new job lined up. A job that's a bit far away. And that means we have to move. Now, you may be thinking, "Moving to a new place can be fun!" and it could. Especially because this means we are buying our first house together. We actually just had the home inspection yesterday.

But I'm not excited.

I'm not looking forward to moving into this beautiful home. I'm not excited for my fiancé taking this new step. I'm not excited for his new job. All because I cannot find a job myself. Things are going so well for him, really, for us. But I'm not excited.

I'm dreading this move because I don't know how I'm going to pay my bills. I don't know how I'm going to attend therapy. I don't know how I'm going to afford my medication. I hate it. This should be the most fun and exciting part of our lives. We're getting married; we're moving into our first house. But I'm only experiencing anxiety and panic and sadness.

I don't know what to do.

Have you experienced something like this before? Am I completely alone in this? Should I just be happy that I have someone to help me during this time? Be glad that while I feel alone, I'm not truly alone? Even as the rejections come flooding in.

I just wish someone would give me a chance. I'm a hard worker. I'm eager and willing to learn. I just need an interview. Just a chance.

Someone just tell me that I'm not alone. That I make sense.